A Lesson In Authority part 6

Premature Conclusions

Scripture presents strong warnings about drawing conclusions before hearing both sides of any controversy. “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” (Prov. 18:13) Whoever first gets our ear is capable of prejudicing our hearts and distorting our objectivity. “He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour

cometh and searcheth him.” (Prov. 18:17.)

Spiritual leaders, particularly those who have the gift of mercy, can very easily fall into the error of ex parte, as described above. They can also find themselves trying to be a judge in such family matters, using their spiritual authority where they have no subject jurisdiction.

Mr. Williams continues:

“It is a clear violation of His mandated lines of authority to undermine a parent by siding with that child against his parents. To take up the cause of a child in rebellion against parental authority is to implicitly say that God has made a mistake in giving those specific parents to that child. What pride and audacity to suppose I can improve on the family circle God has established.”

May I re-iterate: Any spiritual authority who usurps the father’s authority over his child and seeks to counsel a child against his father’s counsel is sinning. He is subverting God’s line of authority.

Mr. Williams concludes:

“Only a parent who has personally experienced the exquisite pain involved in having their authority as parent undermined by a friend, family member or Pastor can tell you of the anguish, trauma and torture involved in not only seeing a child turned away from them, but also in the betrayal of that intimate personality in whom they trusted.”

Pastors, counselors and relatives can do irreparable damage to a parent/child relationship by listening to the complaints of a child against the parents without the parents being present to hear the “charges.” Extended “counseling” sessions with the child without the parents’ knowledge are a terrible betrayal of the parents. It is clearly an usurpation of their position in God’s line of authority.

The pastor, counselor or relative who does this is, as Ron Williams says, exhibiting “pride.” They think they could have “done better.” When such “counselors” finally come to the parents with negative information about them supplied by the child in several private conversations, the parents are blind-sided, caught off guard and cannot respond with decisiveness, not having been party to all the on-going “counseling” that has already been done in private.

These “counselors” are guilty of ex parte’, plus they have no subject jurisdiction in this matter relating to one of God’s divine institutions — the home. And because the child now feels secure, having other authorities who agree with them and who are taking up their cause, they wax bolder in their rebellion against duly given authority.

Thus confusion reigns. Solutions are not forthcoming. Hurts abound. Trust is undermined. Relationships are harmed, if not destroyed. Fellowship is shattered. Prayers are hindered. A false piety is born. Self-sufficiency is asserted in word and actions. Contradictions abound.

The frightening thing about all this is that the pastor, the counselor, or the relative and child all feel “spiritual” about it. They all condemn the “tyrannical” parents, disregarding years of love, sacrifice and care that prove them worthy parents, and pray only that they will “get right.” This is condemnation in the clothes of concern. This is subversion parading as protector. This is destruction preaching restoration. It is sin.

These are not imagined sorrows, strife and confusion. They are real, and they are satanic in origin. He is the original rebel. He said, “I will exalt my throne above the stars of God. I will become like the Most High.”

Satan is also the destroyer, the liar, the murderer and the devourer. He despises God’s order of things. He hates the home, because it illustrates God’s relationship to His children as Father. The husband/wife relationship demonstrates to a lost world the relationship of Christ to the church. And when a pastor or counselor does anything to undermine the home or to damage parent/child or husband/wife relationships, he is the unwitting tool of Satan to destroy God’s picture — God’s Fatherhood and Christ’s relationship to the church.

All these terrible results come about because of someone’s failure to follow God’s established order of things — a failure to recognize God’s authority in the home and insist that the child stay under that authority until the appointed time by the parent for that particular child.

Someone says, “Well, that is all well and good, but how long should a child be under the father’s authority? Shouldn’t a young adult be able to make their own decisions.”

Obviously, it is the goal of any good Christian parent to rear a child to a state of maturity in decision-making. It is not the goal of a wise parent to make the child dependent on him, but to help him gain true wisdom and eventually achieve independence of thought, actions, and provision. But none of these answer the real question of when a father no longer exercises authority over the child. The Bible gives us the answer.

Children are to be under the father’s rule “until the time appointed by the father.” In Galatians 4:1-2, the Word of God tells us: “the heir differeth nothing from a servant, though he be Lord of all; but is under tutors and governors until the time appointed of the father.”

In other words, God put the child in that particular home, under that particular father and gave that father specific authority over that child. And the father is the one who decides when the child is ready to be “on his own.” (Galatians 4)