A Lesson In Authority, Part 9

Specific Examples

Someone may say, well, I believe when you become a young adult, and you are making your own money, you don’t have to obey your father and mother. I challenge you to find that teaching in the Bible. And I would like to know what the “magic age” is when one becomes a young adult and no longer has to obey his parents. Again, Galatians 4:1-2 gives us the answer: “Now I say, that the heir, as long as he is a child, differeth nothing from a servant, though he be lord of all; But is under tutors and governors until the time appointed by the father.”

In other words, the father decides when the child is ready to be on his own. The pastor cannot decide that. He is out his realm of authority. It is not his subject jurisdiction. Besides that, he has not lived with the child for years, as the father has, to know his mental, emotional, and spiritual condition.

The State cannot make that decision either for the same reason. The child cannot decide, or else that would make him the father. So, when the child decides against his parents’ wishes, there is always confusion, heartbreak, distrust, misunderstanding, harsh words, guilt, lack of discernment, shame and wrong decision-making.

You show me a person who broke his parents hearts by rejecting parental authority and walked out of the home against his parents’ wishes, thus dishonoring them, and I will show you a person headed for misery, if he is not already experiencing it. And sadly, that person will always have trouble with authority.

He may be a son, who in anger joins the Army to get away from his father’s authority, and he discovers that the authority of the Army is even harder on him.

It may be a daughter, who abruptly leaves home to marry a young man of whom her father does not approve. She leaves her father’s authority and finds herself under a husband’s authority, and she will eventually have trouble with her husband’s authority. It does not matter how submissive she seems at first. There will come a moment when her rebellion comes out.

Rebels do not always carry guns and wear a scowl on their faces. Gothard’s definition of rebellion is a scriptural one: “Reserving for myself the right to make the final decision.” Samuel told Saul, “Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice and to hearken than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.”

Do not excuse someone’s negative attitude toward a parent by saying, “Well, he’s just stubborn. He’ll get over it.” God says that stubbornness has the same root as idolatry and rebellion has the same root as witchcraft.

Saul did not “get over it.” He had the kingdom rent from him. He murdered all the priests of Nob. He ended his life consorting with the demon-possessed witch of Endor. It is no “light” thing to stubbornly disobey.

One may work with a rebel and even have a rebel work for him, and things may go along just fine for a time, until a decision, with which the rebel does not agree, is made by the one in charge. Then his rebellion shows itself, because he “reserves for himself the right to make that final decision.” A rebel will work with you, but he does not work for you without eventual conflict.

Here is a young lady who is 24 years old. She thinks that because she is a young adult and she is making her own money, she does not have to obey her parents. She leaves home abruptly, without discussing anything with her parents. She goes into “hiding” and her parents do not know where she is. Her mother’s heart is broken. Six months later she finds herself married. She did not consult with her parents about whether or not she should get married or to whom. And because she has taken herself out from under her father’s authority, he does not give her away. Nevertheless, she “ties the knot.”

Please keep in mind that she is still a young adult, and she still has the same job. Does that mean she does not have to obey her husband? Someone says, “Yes, she will obey because she loves the new husband.” She claimed to love her parents too and she disobeyed them. But I am not asking that. I am asking is she required to obey her husband? What if she disagrees with her husband about this “obedience” thing, just as she disagreed with her parents? Does she have to submit to what he says?

Someone may say, well she was of age. She had a right to disobey her parents. Well, after marriage, she is still “of age,” and still has the right to make her own decisions. Using the criteria that has been laid down, she is a young adult and she has her own job and does not even need her husband’s income. Therefore, she has the right to disobey him. Right? After all, who is this young husband to tell her what to do? Why he is not even as wise or as experienced as her Dad was, and she walked out on him, didn’t she?